by Ivo Johannes Bechtiger | 25.09.16 | _Ivo
I used to think I was just a regular guy
    I used to think I was just a regular guy, but…  I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
  I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist.
   I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.
  I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
  I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.
  I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.
  I am older than 65 and retired, which makes me a useless old man.
  I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
   I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
  I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
  I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
  I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loans (it’s called work) and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever.
  I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant.Â
   Please help me come to terms with the new me… because I‘m just not sure who I am anymore!Â
 I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking! I just can’t imagine or understand what’s happened to me so quickly!
 Funny …it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! And as if all this wasn’t enough to deal with …I’m now afraid to go into either restroom! Â
by Ivo Johannes Bechtiger | 07.09.16 | _Ivo
Triple Filter Test :
In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just
heard about Diogenes?”
“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the
Triple Filter Test.”
‘Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.
“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter
what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are
about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.”
“All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not.
Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about
Diogenes something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad,
even though you’re not certain it’s true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter
of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful,
why tell it to me or anyone at all?”
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher
and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.
by Ivo Johannes Bechtiger | 04.09.16 | _Ivo
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?’
The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie
for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.95′.
The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’
Annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
‘Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Truck, Ken’s House, Ken’s Fishing Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Dog,  Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made from Ken’s testicles.’
by Ivo Johannes Bechtiger | 15.08.16 | _Ivo, Gebtg-Männer über 50
Die nachfolgenden Sinnsprüche werden dich ermuntern. Allerdings, wenn du lachst, wird es schmerzen!
“Alt ist man wenn dein Darling sagt “lass uns nach oben gehen und Liebe machen” und du antwortest “entscheide dich für etwas, aber ich kann nicht beides machen!”
“Alt ist man wenn dir deine Freunde Komplimente für deine Krokodillederschuhe machen und dies, obwohl du barfuss gehst!
“Alt ist man wenn du einer heissen Blondine nachschaust und dein Herzschrittmacher dabei das Garagentor öffnet.
“Alt ist man wenn die Falten aus dem Gesicht verschwinden, sobald man ohne BH rumläuft.
“Alt ist man wenn es dir egal ist, wo dein Ehepartner hingegangen ist, solange du nicht hast mitgehen müssen.
“Alt ist man wenn du gewarnt wirst langsamer zu machen und zwar vom Arzt und nicht von der Polizei.
ie
ie
“Alt ist man wenn “heute ein bisschen Action machen” bedeutet, dass du heute keine Herztropfen zu nehmen brauchst.
“Alt ist man wenn “glücklich sein” bedeutet, dass du dein Auto im Parkhaus wieder findest. ie
“Alt ist man wenn “die Nacht durchmachen” bedeutet, dass du das Bett nicht mal fürs Pipi machen verlässt.
“Alt ist man, wenn deine Zähne getrennt von dir übernachten!
